A Legend

This has been a crazy week and it's not over yet. I have to work most of the weekend, my parents and my brother are in town, and we are attending a dinner to benefit the place where I currently have 33 days left to work. However, the speaker at this benefit is truly a legend and a childhood hero of mine. I remember growing up and watching him play. I was at the game when his number was retired. It will be a huge honor to finally meet, and have my picture made with, OZZIE SMITH! I am excited to spend some more time with my family and hopefully they can get some more of my stuff packed up and moved home this weekend too.

Health-wise I am feeling better this week, just run down from work. My fever is almost gone and I have less pain, but the main problem that I am still having is that I can't sleep at all. I am ready for the next month to be over so that I can get some rest and get rid of the massive amounts of stress that are tied up in this job. Speaking of jobs, I am still in the process of finding employment so keep it in your prayers.

Job Interviews, Dresses, and Family

I guess that I should start by saying that I was able to come home this weekend so I decided to set up a job interview while I was here. I was able to stay with my grandmother in her new house so that was exciting for me to finally see. I had my interview yesterday morning and ended up finding out about a few other jobs at the same time. I think that at least one of the jobs is promising so I am fairly relieved.

My sister is getting married in the fall so I was able to see her try on her wedding dress for the first time yesterday and get fitted for my own lovely bridesmaid dress. It was somewhat surreal to see her in a wedding dress but she was beautiful! I can't wait for the wedding, it's going to be a lot of fun and then I'll have another brother too.

Last night I stayed with my other grandparents and it was nice to catch up with them and spend some quality time. It's nice to come home and feel like I've been missed while I was away. After church in the morning it's a seven hour drive back to the circus for a few more weeks. Hopefully this weekend was enough to get me through to the end.

Keep the family of Virginia Tech in your prayers!

Tragedy at Virginia Tech

I feel as if I have to say something about the devastating tragedy that took place yesterday in Blacksburg, Virginia. One of my best friends and her husband work on campus are graduate students at VT. She called me on Sunday to tell me that they had left town for a family emergency and that they would most likely be gone all week. I was upset that they were going through this situation but I knew that things would work out just fine. I know that God works in mysterious ways but this one was made so profound yesterday morning when I saw the news that there had been a shooting. As the day went on and the news only got worse I was comforted by the fact that they were not there and in danger. I pray for the families and friends of all the students at VT but for the victims most of all. I can not imagine what they are going through today and what they will continue to deal with in the future. Things like this put so much else about life in perspective. I am so blessed in the life that I have and the friends that surround me. I am blessed to have a loving family. But most of all, I am blessed to be a Christian and have a loving and all-knowing God that takes care of me on a daily basis. I do not deserve the life I have, no one does, but I am eternally grateful and forever in awe.

I'm Tired

I'm tired ... physically, mentally, emotionally, and every other possible way. I'm tired of feeling like I'm falling apart. I'm tired of not being able to get better. I'm tired of trying new medicine that never works. I'm tired of other people expecting me to act happy-go-lucky and perky all the time regardless of how I'm feeling. I'm tired of never knowing what to expect when I wake up in the mornings. I'm tired of people not treating me right, not trusting me, and basically not respecting me. I'm tired of trying to fake being happy when I'm so far from it. I'm tired of being so far away from home. I'm tired of being away from family and friends. I'm just tired.

Another New Medication

Last week I started having a reaction to the new medication that I was taking so I stopped taking it on Thursday and today was the first time that I was able to talk with my doctor. Now having been off medication for almost 4 days I can't believe how much of a difference it has made. I remember what it was like before the doctors started me on medication and I'm so grateful that people some where in the world have the intelligence to create this. Right now I have a lot of pain and swelling in my joints, I'm running a fever again, I have had a constant headache since Friday afternoon, and I am not sleeping well. I am supposed to start a new medication today so as soon as I can get out of work and get to the pharmacy I will be in a much better mood. It is my prayer that this medication will work and that I can stay on it awhile without any serious side effects.

On a different subject, work is going as can be expected. I'm ready to finish and get out of here. Only 51 days to go!!! My teams are doing well and all of them will probably have a long run through the post-season so it will be keeping me busy right up until the end.

Purpose

Do you know your life purpose? If you know your purpose, are you living it out? At the beginning of the year I re-read A Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren. The book didn't help me find my specific purpose but it did help me realize that once I figure out what it is, I need to live it out fully not just like it's a hobby in my spare time. In the past few weeks while I have been looking for new jobs and possibly a new career I have taken more time to think about what it is that I truly want my life to be about. I want to help people, I want to change lives, and I want to make a difference. I don't know the best way to go about this since that could include hundreds of careers, including the one that I already have. I guess now I'm just evaluating how much of an impact I feel like I have in this position. I feel like this is the time in my life that I get a second chance and I feel blessed to have the options that I do. I am grateful to my family and friends for their support for everything that I have gone through and for everything that is still to come. I am so blessed and so loved, praise God!