I'm sorry!!

It's been nearly 2 months since I've posted and I am sorry about that. We have had so much going on and trying to settle into a new routine that I just forgot about posting. We are doing really well and married life is good so far. I am still adjusting to my job but I am really enjoy it. the only thing that I am having trouble with right now is the early mornings. I have always been a night person so having to be awake at 3am a few days a week has been a struggle.

We just got back from St Louis where we went to a Cardinals game and spent the night with some friends. It was a good time but I'm always glad to get back home.

Until next time!!

It's almost here!

The wedding that is! Only 9 days to go and I'm so excited and ready to be married!! The next several days will be filled with random to-do lists and last-minute projects. My friends and family are starting to arrive on Tuesday so I want to be as finished as possible by then so that I can spend time with them and have some fun.

Pray for our sanity!

I got a job!!

I got the phone call on Friday afternoon and I am so excited. I will be starting the day after Bryan and I get back from our honeymoon so there won't be much down-time for me. It has been such a stress-relief to know that I will have a job and health insurance as soon as we get back. Thanks for all of your prayers!

On a different note, some people that I went to college with just found out some scary news about the baby girl that she is carrying. This is devastating news to a family that has already been through so much. This same couple had a baby girl, Janey, last year that didn't survive past birth. Please check out her blog or her sister's blog and keep this family in your prayers. The family is asking everyone to pray at 10:20am Eastern time every day for complete healing for Brecken and that she is perfectly healthy when she is born in October.

No news yet

I still haven't heard anything back from the interview last week. I called yesterday and left a message so I'm just trying to wait patiently. I also found out that the same hospital is hiring TWO athletic trainers so I also applied for both of those jobs but I haven't heard back from them either. I don't understand why it has been so difficult for me to find a job. I have a Master's degree and 3.5 years of post-certification experience. Unless my references are trashing me behind my back, then it just doesn't make sense. I've been extremely frustrated with this whole process starting from when I moved back here last summer. I just want to find a job that I love so that I don't dread going to work everyday. I know that it's possible because I loved my job before I moved, I just couldn't handle the stress while I was so sick. And I wanted to push one of the coaches in front of a moving train, but that's beside the point right?

I am feeling better lately so the medicine must be working. Or it's the power of suggestion. Either way, I'm just glad that the chest pains have stopped and that I feel like I can breathe again now. I have been having a lot of headaches lately but I think most of that is exhaustion rather than being sick. I felt work 4 hours early yesterday because I felt so sick. I went home and slept so I feel much better today.

The wedding is fast approaching and I am so relieved. 3 weeks from tomorrow I will be a married woman. Sometimes when I really think about it I just have to laugh because it seems so ridiculous that it's actually happening. At this point I'm still trying to find out who's coming and who's not so that we have enough cake and ice cream. I would hate for people to go without but I would also hate to have so much left over that it's wasted. If you know that you are coming for the wedding but haven't told me yet, please leave a comment or give me a call. I am so excited to see everyone and introduce Bryan to those of you who haven't met him yet. I promise that you'll love him!!

Thanks for reading and keep praying for the job opportunities!!

Test results and job interviews

I finally received my test results back from the doctor yesterday and they were exactly what I expected. My thyroid levels have dropped again. I am still in the normal range but I'm in the lower half so the doctor wants me to start back on the medication. I am extremely hopeful that this will alleviate all of my random symptoms that have returned over the past few weeks.

I had a job interview yesterday for a position very similar to what I'm doing now with health & wellness. The job would be with a large hospital that contracts out to other area businesses. It sounds like a great job for me right now and I think that the interview went really well. They are currently doing a background check and verifying my references. I have been praying really hard about this job and I feel like good things are going to happen. This would be a pay cut from where I am right now but at this point I'm willing to take a pay cut so that I can have a job that is close to our home and that has insurance.

Please pray with me that the medication starts working quickly so that I feel better in the last month leading up to the wedding and that I am offered the job! God bless!!

Dr Visit

My doctor's appointment this morning went about like I expected it too. He wants me to go back on the antibiotics and about 3 other medications that I had previously stopped. We talked through the things that I had questions and concerns about. Over the past 2-3 weeks I have had some symptoms return but I feel that they could all be related to hyperthyroidism. I had a problem with this before and when I took the medication I felt better but my dosage was probably too high because I then became hypothyroid. I haven't taken any thyroid medication in about 4 months so my levels have probably changed again. They ran some blood work today to verify this. Hopefully, if that is the case then I can just start that medication and not have to go back to the antibiotics which have a lot of other side effects and will require me to take at least 2 other medications along with it. The results of the blood test should be back by early next week.

I did discuss with him that I think a lot of my problems are related to stress right now. I don't actually feel stressed but I know that I am experiencing stressful situations. (I hope that makes sense) With the fast-approaching wedding, move, and job search I have a lot going on in my life right now. I am also having a lot of headaches but I think that they may be allergy related since it's springtime and the pollen count is so high. It has been 7 years since I've experienced a spring in Missouri so it's bound to account for some of this since I'm allergic to pretty much anything that is alive.

If the doctor doesn't feel that this is related to my thyroid levels then I will start the antibiotics and see how I feel in 3 weeks. If I'm not feeling better I will switch to Penicillin shots once a week which will be a lot stronger and hopefully that will do the trick. If I can manage to get all of this under control and I'm symptom-free then my last visit will be in September.

Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers. I'll let you know as soon as I get test results. God Bless!!

Prayers

Tomorrow is my appointment with the specialist. I need a lot of prayers that this visit goes well and that he gives me a good report. I have been praying for the last few months that this will be the last time I have to see him. I doubt that will actually be the case but it's still a nice dream.

Things to pray for:

• I will be able to adequately fill him in on the 5 months since my last visit
• He will be able to make the best decisions for me in regards to more or less medication
• He will be able to effectively communicate to me how this will continue to affect me over the course of my lifetime
• If we do lab tests that they come back as normal as possible

I just want to thank everyone who has prayed for me and continues to pray for me. I know that this doctor and the thousands of pills I took didn't make me better, it was God and that was only possible through all of our prayers. I am so blessed to have so many people in my life who loved me and took care of me through this process and I wouldn't be here without you. I will post as soon as I can after my appointment tomorrow!

Nothing really important

I have realized lately that I'm not updating as frequently as I used to. Mostly that's because I don't have a lot to say and I'm busy living instead of thinking about living like I was doing before. However, I get so frustrated when the blogs that I read never have new posts so I thought that I would save you from feeling that way about me.

I am feeling OK the past week or so. I have a re-check with my specialist on Wednesday morning so you should expect a big update after that. Next weekend Bryan is moving out of his tiny apartment into the duplex where we will be living. Hopefully we can get everything moved in a few hours and then get stuff set up and put away because I hate living with boxes and I'm sure that if it were left up to him there would still be boxes when I move a month later.

I am still looking for a job. I have already submitted my resignation for my current position because I refuse to commute an hour to and from work everyday for a job that I don't love and that doesn't pay well enough to compensate for the gas money that I would have to spend. My last day here will be the Friday before the wedding so I am looking at trying to find a job that I can start as soon as we get back from the honeymoon.

We don't have any major plans for the holiday weekend but we may try to crash a party or two ;) My brother and his wife are coming home for a visit so I will definitely be spending time with them too.

Have a safe and happy weekend!

Engagement Pictures

For those of you who would like to see, I've posted some of our engagement pictures on our wedding blog. Just follow the link on the left to Bryan & Alicia. Leave a comment, I would love to know what you think!

50 days to go! The time is flying by but we are so excited and ready to start our life together.

Anxious ... worried ... maybe a little scared??

Over the past couple weeks I haven't been feeling 100%. I have been trying to convince myself that this is stress related and due to new medication. However, there is a part of me that is worried and scared that my Lyme's symptoms might be returning. I have been off antibiotics for nearly 2 months now and for the most part I have felt pretty good. The last 2 weeks I have had headaches and I'm just not feeling like myself. I have been really fatigued too and the B12 injections don't seem to have as much impact as they originally did.

I hope that I am 'over-thinking' everything and that I'm actually just being a hypochondriac.

My grandma is doing much better since my last post. She's back at home and gaining strength every day. Hopefully she will feel up to going back to work soon. I'm sure that the kids miss her.

Wedding plans are going really well. I'm so excited about marrying Bryan but I just wish that it would hurry up and get here! I don't feel too stressed until I look at the calendar and realize that we only have 2 free weekends between now and then. I guess that will make the time fly by quicker though.

Keep praying for me and pray for Bryan too. I have had years of learning to deal with being sick and he's still adjusting. It's hard for him to see me not feeling well and know that there is nothing he can do to make me feel better.

Grandma Update!

My grandma is doing much better. She was finally moved out of ICU Saturday night. The doctors have determined that she had several different infections and she was one sick puppy! Thankfully she is improving quickly. She is up and walking short distances as well as pushing over unsuspecting Physical Therapists. We have had a steady stream of family at the hospital with her and hopefully that will continue until she is scheduled to leave on Friday.

Thank you for your prayers!

Prayers!

I will make this as short as possible. I am currently living with my grandmother and Wednesday morning she did not wake up. She was taken to the hospital and they ran an extensive amount of tests. She was completely unresponsive all day Wednesday so we had her transferred to a larger hospital where they ran more tests. Yesterday morning she woke up and seems to not have any lasting effects. She is still very ill and the doctors suspect Bacterial Meningitis. She is responding to the antibiotics that are continuously being pumped into her. When I saw her last night she was still running a fever and complaining of a severe headache and back pains. The doctors have said that she will probably be in the hospital for at least 3-4 days. Hopefully she will get well quickly so that we can get her home and recuperating where she wants to be. I came to work today since I missed all day Wednesday and Thursday and I might have to miss Monday and I've already asked for next Friday off to go to Searcy to see friends and family.

We have had a lot of family come in from out of town and there will likely be more within the next week or two. Please just pray that my grandma continues to improve and for the safety of all the people travelling to see her. Thank you so much, I'll try my best to keep you posted over the weekend.

No news is good news

Other than my horrible relapse of mononucleosis a month ago, I have been feeling great for almost 2 months. After I spoke with the specialist last week and they said I could stop the antibiotic I have been really freaked out and overly aware of everything that I feel. I'm extremely nervous about stopping the meds and then relapsing. I know that I'm better but I don't know if I'm cured. I will finish my antibiotics on Saturday and that will be it.

I will also slowly taper off the other medications that I'm on and stick with just vitamins, B12 shots, and sleeping pills for a while until I feel like I can faze them out too. I am only taking the shots twice a week now and I'm doing ok with that. It's been a huge adjustment from one a day. I take the sleeping pills every other night, or when I remember, so that I can try to relearn how to fall asleep on my own. I'm back to exercising again which is nice. It's always a struggle to get started but I feel so much better when I'm done. I need to continually remind myself of that fact so that I will be encouraged to workout DAILY instead of 'whenever I have the time'.

On the home front things are going splendidly. The wedding is 95% planned so I'm in coasting mode right now. We have 99 days to go and I really just with that is was July already because I can't wait to marry Bryan. I am still job hunting but I have a couple prospects. Depending on how soon I can get a job down there I might be moving before the wedding.

Bryan and I, along with my parents coincidentally, are going to Searcy in a couple weeks to visit my brother and his wife and some friends. I'm excited about the trip since I wasn't able to go last month and I'm excited to take Bryan with me. Harding is a place that means so much to me and I want to share that with him. My time and the friends that I made there made me who I am. I have a bunch of things that I want to accomplish all in one trip so we'll see how it goes. This will also be the first time that I have seen anyone since deciding that I wouldn't be applying for the job at Harding in order to stay here and get married. I know that they are happy for me but I also know that they were disappointed. I hope that they think he's worth it!!

Thanks for all of the prayers and thoughts. Keep praying that I stay healthy and none of my symptoms return when I finish the medication.

Pictures

I don't have much to post about but I wanted to share a couple pictures that I took one morning last week as I was leaving for work. Have a great weekend!

Great news!

I had a doctors appointment yesterday and it went very well. He was pleased that I am symptom free and have had no relapses. I am needing to start some new medication but I can't do that while I'm on antibiotics so he wanted me to talk with the specialist to see when I would be done with the antibiotics and I will go back to see him in six weeks.

I called the specialists office this morning and they called me right back to tell me that since I've been symptom free for almost a month now I should finish out the antibiotics that I currently have and then I can be done. The nurse said that if I have any symptoms that return I will have to start back on antibiotics immediately but as of right now I should be done in 2-3 weeks!

This is such a relief and a HUGE step towards being "cured". Thank you so much for all of your prayers and good thoughts. Keep praying and praising God for all that He has done.

Health Status

Just a quick post to say that I'm feeling much better over the past week. I go back to the general physician that I saw for my heart in 2 weeks and then back to the specialist at the end of May. I think that both doctors will be shocked by my quick and seemingly permanent turn around. I know that both doctors were worried and were looking to extreme options if I didn't improve. Hopefully and prayerfully I will not have to do anything more than continue with the oral antibiotics for a few more months. I would love to be healthy and off all medication by the wedding day. Pray hard!

My Fiance!

I think it's about time for me to fill you in on my wonderful fiance. Bryan and I have known each other for years and have several mutual friends. I say that we have known each other for years, which is true, but we weren't anything more than acquaintances until January. I knew on our second date that Bryan was the guy I was going to marry. It took him a little longer to figure it out but not much. Within the first week we were talking about marriage and kids. We have moved fast but we know that this is something bigger than the two of us and something that was meant to be all along.

He works for a local well drilling company just outside Springfield and he seems to be the go-to guy for anything. He is such a caring and helpful person, not only to me but to complete strangers. I love that he will do anything to help people. He is a member of the local church of Christ. We have the same morals and ideals for life which makes everything so much easier. He has been working hard for a long time in order to be able to take care of a family someday and I am so blessed to be the lucky girl that he chose to complete that picture. He accepts me for who I am and accepts my illness as a part of me. He has been so patient and understanding when I have had bad days that it amazes me how I got along by myself before I had him. I never thought that I'd like being taken care of but it's been such a relief. I love having someone to share things with and knowing that he'll be there to support me no matter what.

He is known all around town and I haven't met anyone who has anything other than the highest praises for him. Everyone has told me how lucky I am and how jealous they are because they were hoping he would be with them, their daughters, their granddaughters, or their neighbors. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world and I have no idea how I got so lucky to be with him. His family is very loving and has been so welcoming to me. My family loves him too and that has made everything much smoother.

We are so excited about our wedding and about starting our new lives together. He has asked several times if we could just go to Vegas to get married or get married at the court house. It is so tempting but I want to have a wedding and have the experience of seeing my family and friends celebrating with us. This is our time and I want to enjoy every single moment of it!

Don't forget to check out our blog for all the latest wedding information!

I'm Homeless!!!!

The sale of my house was finalized today and I am officially homeless! I have mixed feelings about this. I am so relieved that the house finally sold and that I'm out from under a huge mortgage but I'm also sad that I had to sell my very first house so soon. I loved my house and it felt like home. It was a part of me and it definitely reflected my personality and my vision. I'm sure that my next house will mean so much more because it will be OUR house and one that is shared and full of love. I can't wait!

Speaking of US .... here's the new website with our information and wedding details. Check it out!

We're Engaged!!!!

Bryan proposed yesterday afternoon. We are getting married on July 4th. Check back for more details and our new blog address soon!

Sickly

After almost a month of feeling great I'm back to being sick again. I don't think that this is related to the Lyme Disease at all. I have had a sore throat since Friday but over the past 3 days it has gotten considerably worse. The entire right side of my throat and neck are swollen, I have an ear infection, and it has become very difficult to swallow. I went to the doctor yesterday and he decided to start me on more antibiotics, which seems like a waste. I told him that I was having trouble swallowing my pills that I'm already taking but he didn't listen so well. I haven't been eating much because it's hard to keep anything down and I can't even imagine how much it would hurt if it had to come back up.

On another note, we are having yet another ice storm over the next several days. I have been planning for a couple months now on going back to Searcy this weekend to watch a basketball game and see my brother, his wife, and some great friends. Unless I have a miraculous recovery and the roads get better it looks like I'm going to miss out.

Bryan and I are doing great. We are having fun and enjoying the excitement of new love. Our families and friends have been so supportive and encouraging.

Please pray that I can get over this illness quickly so that I can resume my medication for the Lyme Disease and pray for our safety over the next few days during this bad weather.

Don't Stop Believing!

After the past couple years when I felt like my life was falling apart, it has taken a dramatic turn lately. I have had an incredible couple weeks. I have seen many prayers answered and felt so blessed! My house has finally sold and we are closing on February 27th. I am feeling better than I have in years. Bryan and I are very happy and feel exceptionally lucky to have been set-up by our mutual best friend. I feel at complete peace turning down a job opportunity that I had always thought would be my dream-come-true to stay here and live out my dreams that I never thought were possible. I have wonderful family and friends that are always around and encouraging me to be a better person.

None of this would be possible without God and His awesome power that is at work in all our lives. Quite often in the past couple weeks I have told people that I don't feel like I deserve to be this happy and have this many blessings. I know that I don't deserve the life that God has chosen to give me. It has been painfully difficult at times and there were times where I couldn't see a way out. I have been a Christian for most of my life and no matter how hard it got, I never gave up because I knew that God would be there to see me through. We are told in Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." God will never fail us as long as we always remember that He is in control. Deuteronomy 31:6 says "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Thank you to all of you who have stood by me, sat with me when I couldn't stand, listened to me complain, cried with me, rejoiced with me and prayed for me. My life has been changed by all of you and I am so humbled to know that I mattered enough in your live for you to love me. May God bless you all as richly as he has blessed me.

Going once, Going twice ..... Hopefully SOLD!!!

I got a call from my real estate agent today. She has an offer on my house and the couple wants to close within 2 weeks. We are in the process of counter-offering. Hopefully this will go through so that I can just move on and not have to worry about it anymore. Say a HUGE prayer for me today!

Matters of the Heart 2.0

Drum roll please .................. What you've all been waiting for!!!!

I found the cure for my heart. His name is Bryan. I am happy and at peace. My prayers have been answered. We are so blessed!

Praise God!

The Specialist's Opinion

I saw my specialist yesterday so I'm going to try to write a run-down of everything he said. The appointment was over an hour so forgive me if I miss something. He is glad to see that I have improved in some areas (pain, muscle control and weakness, fatigue, insomnia, vision problems, etc) but puzzled by why I have gotten much worse in other areas (heart problems, headaches, and the feeling of passing out). He does feel that once I find the right antibiotic my heart problems will go away on their own. He has switched my antibiotic again but he said that if this one doesn't work I'm going to have to consider IV antibiotics through a PICC line (see information here). I really do not want to go this route so I'm asking you all to pray that I don't have to. The other option, which seems much better to me but he doesn't feel is as effective, would be to receive the same medication through shots rather than the IV. He said that his research shows these shots are at least 2% less effective than the IV but I feel like 2% isn't that big of a number. Also, he wants to adjust a few of my medications to see if he can fix the passing-out feeling. Over the next couple months I will be phasing in some new medications and phasing out some old ones. Overall I have improved since my first visit with him so I have confidence that he knows what he's doing and that I will eventually get better.

The past couple weeks I have seen a lot of my prayers answered in unexpected but wonderful ways and that gives me so much hope. Dream BIg!!

Please pray with me that this new antibiotic works and I can avoid the IVs. Please also pray that I can graciously accept the changes in my life and turn them into something positive. Thank you for being there for me and never giving up!

Knock-Knock

Who's There?

I have recently placed a counter on here because I was curious about whether or not anyone was actually reading this. Now I know that people are because my number keeps going up by a few each day. What I want to know is who you are. Just leave a comment on this post so that I know who I'm writing to. Thanks!!

God put us here ...

These are some of the lyrics from "The Wheel of the World" on Carrie Underwood's new CD, Carnival Ride. It's a great song that has a lot of meaning for me. Over the past couple years I have felt like I was on a carnival ride with all of the twists and turns that my life has taken. I can honestly say that I never would have put myself in this place and time but this is where God has chosen to place me. I am so humbled by the fact that when I quit trying to control my life and let Him take over the most amazing and beautiful things happen. This song will now be a continual reminder that God is in control through the highs and lows and the twists and turns of my crazy life.

God put us here on this carnival ride.
We close our eyes, never knowing where it'll take us next...
Its the wheel of the world turning around...
In the blink of an eye, it can change your life.
And it never even slows down...
It can open your heart, it can break you apart.
And it never even slows down.
Its the wheel of the world turning around.

Well .....

According to the initial report, my echocardiogram was normal. Most of you will think that this is good news, and in a sense it is. However, I can feel that there are abnormalities so I know that this can't actually be the case. I may have to wait until I go back to the doctor in March but I'm going to figure out what's going on. I need answers and I'm not going to stop until I get them.

Have a great weekend!

Matters of the Heart

I haven't purposefully avoided posting about my ongoing heart issues, but I wanted to wait until I had something substantial. I saw the doctor last week that was recommended by my friend (see earlier post). After a thorough exam and actually listening to me rather than jumping to his own conclusions, he said that he heard at least one heart murmur and possibly a second one but he couldn't be sure. He wanted me to have some further testing so I went in this morning for an echocardiogram. So far, I do not have the results of this test. (A nice added benefit of working at the hospital where I had my tests is that I can look up my record without having to wait the week that is standard for results in non-emergency cases.) The doctor also recommended that I stop taking one of my medications and explained the reasoning behind it due to some recent blood tests. This is the same medication that the extremely incompetent ER doctor told me to stop but wouldn't tell me why. When I talked with my specialist after that he said that it was OK for me to stop taking it. I haven't noticed any positive changes but they said that it might take awhile. Speaking of the specialist, I have an appointment with him on Tuesday morning. I'm anxious to see him and fill him in on what has been happening over the past couple months. If you recall, last time I saw him he said that I was improving quickly and that he might be able to take me off some medications at this upcoming visit. Seeing as how I have declined over the past 2-3 months I doubt that will actually happen. I am hoping to go back on the first antibiotic that I was on since it seemed to do the most good. I know that most of this is rambling but I figured that I should keep you, the blog world, informed.

I am betting that when most people saw the title to this post they were hoping for some juicy gossip about a new relationship or love interest. Sorry to disappoint you, but I have nothing to report at the time being. ;)

I'll post as soon as I have results from the test. Have a great weekend!

Hot Chocolate

The following is an e-mail that I received today that really spoke to me. I think that way too often we get caught up in how things appear to other people rather than concentrating on what's inside. I hope that you can all reflect positively on your "hot chocolate" and live joyously!

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.

When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: "Notice that all the nice looking expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was the hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups."

Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us.

God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything that they have.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. And, enjoy your hot chocolate!!

Siblings

I love my brother and sister very much and I miss them both so much when we aren't together. I honestly think that we could all hang out everyday and not get sick of each other. We are very lucky to have such great relationships with each other. It hasn't always been that way but as we get older we continue to get closer. I would consider them to be my 2 best friends in the world. I am so happy for the both of them that they have found wonderful spouses and are deliriously in love. We are no longer 3 siblings, we are now 5. Maybe someday we will be 6 if I could get my act together but it won't be for a long time so don't hold your breath. I don't have pictures from the wedding yet but here's a picture of the 3 of us. I love you guys!!

Bits & Pieces

It's going to be a long weekend so I wanted to update before it gets too crazy. I am still having the irregularities with my heart and after speaking with the friend of mine who also has Lyme's Disease and heart problems I have an appointment scheduled for January 15th. This doctor is not a cardiologist but my friend knows him and recommended him. When I called to schedule the appointment I told the receptionist that all I wanted was a request from him to have an echocardiogram so I hope that we can get it accomplished on the first visit and I can get this thing under control. I also have a check-up with my specialist coming up at the end of the month so I will be able to follow up with him at that time. As for right now I have lowered the dose on one of my medications and it has not helped. I also abstained from caffeine for over a week as suggested by the ER doctor and did nothing to help so I'm not really worrying about that too much either.

The Health & Wellness program that I have been working on since I started my job back in July is finally ready to launch. We will officially kick-off on February 1st, but starting tomorrow I will be travelling to other facilities and presenting the information to the staff so that they understand the program and it's goals. It will be really nice when I can actually do the work instead of having meetings about how to do the work.

Tomorrow night is another big event for my family. My little brother is getting married. They have been together for several years so it won't really seem all that different but now it will be official. After the wedding and a short honeymoon they will be headed back to Arkansas to start their last year of college. It will be nice to see some old friends at the wedding before they leave to go back to school and jobs across the country.

On Saturday I'm hoping to rest and spend time with one of my oldest friends. We never get to spend enough time together since we are both so busy. On Sunday some friends from work are having a small theme party to commemorate the return of American Gladiators, it should be very entertaining.

Have a great weekend and try to stay warm!

Reflections and Resolutions

I don't remember if I made specific resolutions for last year but I'm sure that if I did they would have been something like this: 1) Just make it through the year, 2) Exercise, 3) Eat healthier. If we count success for the year only by a number of accomplished resolutions, then 2007 would have been a smashing success. However, I don't think that is a very good measurement. I feel like the past year was the worst of my life, right up there with 2006. It has been a really rough couple years for me but I'm hoping that 2008 is the year to finally turn it around.

Starting out last year I had a great job, a beautiful new house, wonderful friends , family a long way away, and a lot of opportunities. By the middle of the year I was unemployed, homeless, close to only a few friends but back with my family. At the end of the year I had another good job, a loving place to live with my grandmother, still the same beautiful house but now it's vacant and sad, a few new friends, and a couple really old friends. Throughout it all I have had the strength of the Lord to keep me fighting for health and stability. I can honestly say that I would not be here if it weren't for my faith in God and the many, many prayers of my friends and family.

In 2008 I am looking forward to continued improvement in my health and more stability in my life. I think (and hope) that this will be another year of transitions and new experiences which I am really looking forward to. Since I got sick almost 3 years ago I feel like I have been stuck in a rut. This is the year that I want to break out and try new things. I am determined to rise above my circumstances and be a more positive person. So, without further ado, here are my resolutions for 2008.

1) Read the Bible everyday, 2)Be positive in all circumstances, 3) Try new experiences, 4) Exercise, 5) Eat healthy, 6) Make more friends, 7) Be open to the possibility of love