Time

Time is one of those things that I have never been able to have enough of. Most of my life I have been on the run. My grandpa always told me that I learned to run before I walked. I don't know if that's true, but I don't think that I've ever learned to live at a normal pace. I wish that I didn't need as much sleep as I do. If I could spend less time trying to sleep maybe I would have enough free time to accomplish all the little things that seem to get left behind. I feel like there is so much coming at me that I can't manage all of it. There is a song by Sugarland called "Stand Back Up" that I have made my anthem of sorts. This is the part that chokes me up:

I've been beaten, I've been bruised, I've been kicked right off my shoes,
Been down on my knees more times than you'd believe,
When the darkness tries to get me, There's a light that just won't let me,
It might take my pride, and tears may fill my eyes,
But I'll stand back up ......
You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up

I know that no matter how I feel, the small things are small for a reason and in the long run they don't matter. It's days like today when I wish that I had someone in my life who could do the small things for me. Someone to depend on that I could trust with everything that matters and even the things that don't. It would be nice if my family were closer but living so far away was my choice and most of the time I feel that it was a good one. Keep me in your prayers, hopefully I can get past these next few weeks and keep my sanity in tack.